Being compassionate and understanding when someone is going through a hard time is important, but it's essential to understand the differences between empathizing and sympathizing. Learn what each of these terms mean, how to express empathy and sympathy in conversations, and how to make sure your words are helpful.
Understand the Difference between Empathizing and Sympathizing.
Understand that empathizing and sympathizing are two very different reactions when someone is going through a hard time. Knowing the difference will allow you to have more meaningful conversations with others during difficult times. Empathizing involves putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and trying to understand their perspective, while sympathizing includes providing words of comfort, advice, or support.
Become Aware of Your Own Reactions to Others’ Suffering.
As you practice empathizing and sympathizing with others, take a step back to observe your own reactions. Ask yourself questions like: Am I jumping in too soon to provide a solution? Do I feel uncomfortable engaging in the conversation? By becoming aware of your own reactions, you can better understand which type of response—empathy or sympathy—is more appropriate for a given situation.
Make Yourself Present and Engage with Other People Intimately.
To make sure that you’re responding in the most effective way, place your focus on the other person and make yourself present. Let them be heard and seen, and actively engage with them—listen closely to their words, observe their body language, and pay attention to their feelings. By doing so, you will be better equipped to provide an understanding response based on the other person's emotional reactions.
Reflect on What May or May Not be Appropriate in a Compassionate Conversation.
Before engaging in a mutual conversation, it's important to be aware of the appropriateness of certain words and expressions that may come up during the talk. Generating empathy involves first understanding yourself, so take some time to identify what you're comfortable with saying. Consider whether or not certain words or phrases relating to comfort, responsibility, and blame may be applicable—sympathizing versus empathizing will also shape the tone and content of your conversation.
Participate Mostly by Listening, Using Verbal Prompts When Necessary.
For the most part, it’s best to limit your dialogue to listening, providing verbal prompts that emphasize understanding and communication when necessary. By focusing on their story instead of embracing a more authoritative role and imposing your opinion, you convey that you are open and supportive of the other person’s feelings. Affirmations of understanding can also be helpful when necessary. This means that if they express confusion or any troubles dealing with their situation in general, you are able to articulate your knowledge of their feeling by validating it for them rather than simply offering judgement or opinions about what one should do in such a situation.
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